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Hawken: Hell of a first day


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#1 CommanderWindhover

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Posted March 30 2013 - 02:29 PM

Note: I wanted some constructive criticism on my writing so I moved it to its own thread.
------------------------------

Trentik City.

Uptown.

Its cramped, dirty, and has enough rust to give every pilot in the whole damn base tetanus.

Its home.

I'm sitting on a bed in a hotel room commandeered by my detachment.
On my lap is a tablet linked to the Sentium satellite relay back to headquarters.
I pick it up, awaken it from sleep and sign in.


//SENTIUM Remote Data Link Active
//
//SentOS rev 2.0.1
//
//Encrypting data feed....feed secure.
//
//WARNING: Unauthorized use of Sentium resources may result in deadly termination.
//
//Employee - Please Log In
//username: WndHvr24802331
//password: ********************************
//
//User ID accepted!
//Welcome back, Commander Pollini.

I pull up the remote interface and open up the mail program.

//One new mail (Urgent)
//
//To: WndHvr24802331.Sntm.mail
//
//From: SentiumHighCom.Sntm.mail
//
//Commander Daniel Pollini, 15th Squadron, 8th Mech Division, Employee No. 24802331
//Callsign: Windhover
//
//New order set for employee 24802331.
//Mech Operation Practice cancelled.
//Report to Trentik Hangar Bravo at 0900.
//Combat Operation Assigned at 1400.
//Personal note from HQ logistical operator 24882:
//"Welcome to the big leagues, kid."

I stare at the screen for a few seconds before dropping it on the floor.
I'm going to be deployed today.
I'm likely going to die today.
F***.

Well, as it is I might as well get to the hangar. Better to be killed in my mech than to be killed for insubordination.

Sentium does not care for deserters.

--------------------

I walk in the side door of hangar B, what was once a construction building for orbital rockets, now refitted for mech storage and repair. the captain of the squadron, Lampert, stands in front of a wall monitor. A map of Uptown is displayed on it.
"Listen up, 15th!" he shouts, "As you probably have heard, were deploying today." The other three pilots in my squadron nod. "Were deploying into grid 54. It marks the border between what parts of the city we control and the sectors Prosk owns. We will relieve the 27th squadron and guard that sector for three hours, at which point we will be relieved by the 7th."
"Pollini, you just transferred in, this is not only your first sortie with us, but your first sortie period, correct?" His voice is stern, but seems to understand my nervousness. "Y-yes sir." I replied. "Then when we deploy, stick with me. We'll work as a pair until you're used to actual missions." "Thank you, sir!" I reply.

I look around at my squadron mates. Marcus Snow, callsign GhostEye, pilots a sharpshooter mech. Kind of a cold and isolated guy, but from our training missions I know he cares just as much for the rest of the squad as he does for himself. Hans Grimm, callsign Talisman, pilots a Recruit mech. Some would find this odd, as he's been a pilot the longest besides the captain, but I know from training just how lethal a Fred can be. Jack Bartlett, callsign Blizzard, pilots a Scout mech. Light and fast, he uses hit and run tactics to soften up hostiles so Talisman can take him out with his Vulcan. Captain Marcus Lampert, callsign Shamrock, uses a Berserker.

As for myself, I use a Bruiser. The Negotiator. It wins every argument by blowing its opponents to smithereens.

Still fearful of the mission to come, I climb the ladder in my assigned mech alcove and hop in The Negotiator, starting the boot sequence.

/Bruiser B Class Labor/Utility Mech Active.
/Kernel-OK
/OS-OK
/LifeSupport-OK
/HeadsUpDisplay-OK
/Leg1-OK
/Leg2-OK
/Warning-Arm1.NonStandardHardwareException
/Warning-Arm2.NonStandardHardwareException
//Loading Software Patch...
//Sentium Bruiser Combat Refit Patch Loaded
//Arm1.HellFireMissiles-OK
//Arm2.GatlingCannon-OK
//TDRS-OK
//DropTurretGatling-OK
//ShieldGeneratorLauncher-OK
//IFF Online, Transmitting, Callsign: Windhover
//OK. Mech Ready.
//Accessing Team Comms...

Shamrock's voice cuts in over the radio. "Everyone green?" We all reply in the affirmative. "Good. We  have to be in the combat zone by 1400. Let's move."

As a group, we march out of the hangar and onto one of the raised highways the base uses for transport. I punch in a command to follow Shamrock's lead on autopilot, then lean back and hope that Prosk doesn't try to force our hand at the border.

--------------------

I pull my Bruiser around the corner, catching up with Shamrock. It has been an hour since we arrived in the grid and split up. GhostEye is standing guard in a high bridge, providing cover for both pairs below him. Despite the cover and lack of action, I am still extremely wary. Wary, but not anxious. Anxiousness can get you killed fast.

"Don't worry," Shamrock says to me over comms, "my squad's done this loads of times before. Prosk doesn't have the guts to try and make a move. Were here more for presence really. They would only take this place if nobody was here."

I start to relax. Maybe things won't be so bad after al-
A HEAT round goes flying towards Shamrock, he notices and activates in the dodge system, kicking the mech's thrusters into overdrive and boosting him sideways by 20 feet. The round still grazes him though, damaging the attachment joint for his TOW rocket.

I look around to find the source of the HEAT round, only to see three of the same mech in the distance.

Oh s***.
Infiltrators.

Infiltrators are the mech equivalent of the rich kid on the block. Instead of being refitted labor mechs, infiltrators are designed for combat from the ground up. They're equipped with a state of the art Glass-Shield Refractive Light Visibility Cloaking System and an ADFX-02 "Morgan" ECM Radar Jammer. Though it quickly drains its slow-recharge energy capacitor, the infiltrator can vanish from sight and radar for up to eight seconds, moving to an optimal position to attack an enemy mech from.

Now we're fighting three of them.

Dammit.

Shamrock and I kick on our thrusters and hightail it away from the engagement. We don't have a chance against three mechs with better gear and equipment. The infiltrators are faster than The Negotiator, but we were standing on the opposite side of a fairly vast urban canyon, making it difficult to immediately keep up with us.

Shamrock opens up the comms feed, "Ah hell, contacts! Three count, infiltrators. Regroup to the entry point for the combat zone, we can take them if we work together. GhostEye, move to get a bead on us and cover our retreat."

"Copy boss. GhostEye moving to cover you. Engaging."
"Talisman regrouping to ingression point."
"Blizzard regrouping! Ah damn, Infies?"

As we pull away, we end up on the recieving end of inbound assault rifle fire and HEAT rounds. Looking at Shamrock, I notice his mechs structural integrity is at about half. As we don't have time to drop the mech into park for short term repairs, I move my Negotiator behind him and activate the Taurus Damage Reduction System.

The TDRS is, in my opinion, the most useful piece of tech adapted for military use aside from mechs themselves. Originally intended to keep a damaged labor mech in one piece until repairs were made, the tech was modified to be much more effective at the cost of a higher power drain. When active, a series of industrial grade electromagnets polarizes the individual mech components to each other for about eight seconds, literally holding the mech together and preventing combat damage from taking off an arm. In doing this, it generally reduces damage to the structural integrity. Additionally, it creates a sort of polarized magnetic repulsion field around the mech. It can't stop a bullet, but it can reduce the overall bullet velocity and repel some of the explosive shrapnel from missiles, letting the mech take more of a beating before succumbing to its inner explosion.

Now I'm using it to act as a meatshield. Great.

Though I take a few of the hits that land from this distance, my mech is much more stable than Shamrock's, and only drops about a quarter integrity.

Don't ask me how the mech can combine the current hull integrity from all different sections of the mech and bind it to a single arbitrary number on the dashboard. I'd like to figure that one out myself, to be honest.

Falling back toward the rendezvous point, I notice GhostEye pegging one of the Infiltrators with his sabot rifle, taking out an ungodly portion of hull integrity for such a small gun. Shamrock turns on his Spinflex positioner, rotating his mech 180° almost instantly and sending a TOW Missile barreling into the damaged Prosk.

I must admit I rather enjoy seeing one of those bastards who tried to kill us go up in a nice warm flame. There was a reason I took this job. Hey, at least it wasn't me exploding!

"Kill confirmed for Shamrock, assist for GhostEye." Shamrock relays over the radio, "Blizzard, radio the base and see about getting reinforcements and an exfil."

We finally reach the rendezvous point, the other three squadron mates standing in a defensive cover position. "Heal up, you two. We'll cover you until you can fight" Talisman echoes over the radio. Shamrock and I both gear our mechs into standby mode, dropping it to a downed position. We both activate the repair drones, sending them out from a retractable pocket in the back of the chassis. The drone uses a miniature shock welder to fuse together shattered metal, repair joints and actuators, and make the arbitrary proof of existence number on the dash go back up.


I drop back into active mode, while Shamrock needs more repairs. I notice the other two infiltrators have pinned Blizzard behind a wall, while GhostEye is repairing his mech and  Talisman is covering the wall, stopping the infiltrators from advancing without cloak.

Even though I still fear my own demise, I figure I may try and save the others.

"Talisman," I yell through the comms, "is your TOW missile primed?"
"Ready to go." He replies.
"We unleash hell on the infiltrator on the right, on my mark. Ready?"
"Let's do it."

I throw my hardlight shield module on Blizzard, hopefully preventing extra damage to the fast but fragile mech.

"MARK!"

Talisman and I both sidestep around the corner to face the two mechs on the other side. Talisman fires an unguided TOW missile at the infiltrator. As he fires, I press a white button on top of my right joystick, activating the targeting system. A red reticule appears over the target, solidifying to a diamond after a few seconds. Knowing the lock to be complete, I press the trigger on the right joystick as the TOW missile connects.

A swarm of missiles fires out of the launcher on my right arm. About halfway through they all merge into a single pile of missiles, then connecting with the mech.

It explodes.

I just killed another person.

As much as I want to sulk and hate myself for being a terrible person I don't have time for that right now.

There's still another infiltrator out for my blood.

An infiltrator that just vanished into thin air.

"Kill confirmed Windhover, assist Talisman, one tango remaining, just cloaked." GhostEye. Blunt but observant.

Shamrock steps out into the open alongside Blizzard. "Good kill, kid! The last one's probably pulling back to attack from another angle or retreat. Blizzard and I will move to intercept." The captain's voice blares from my headset.

Shamrock and Blizzard take off  down the corridor, leaving us three to stand guard. A few minutes later, I hear the distinctive sound of TOW missile fire. It then suddenly stops, and the three of us hold our breaths.

"Kill confirmed me, assist Blizzard."

Oh thank goodness.

"You guys alright?" Heh. A rare instance of GhostEye McHardAss' humanity.
"Yeah. Looks like he was trying to run. A few TOW missiles stopped that."
"Glad to hear."

"Did we miss the party?"

Six friendly IFF tagged mechs move in from the entry point.

"This is Taw_Archangel of the 7th squadron. If you're going to call for a party, at least leave us some cake! Now go RTB. We will take your place. Leave the light on for us."

The five of us make our way to the grid's exit.

Well, guess I didn't die today.

I could get used to this.

Not gonna sleep well tonight, though.

This is Commander Windhover of the 15th Squadron. The enemy is expanding its field of attack. Stay alert.

- Daniel "Windhover" Pollini, Ace Combat 6


You and I are opposite sides of the same coin. When we face each other we can finally see our true selves. There may be a resemblance, but we never  face the same direction. - "Solo Wing" Pixy, Ace Combat Zero


#2 YellerBill

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Posted March 30 2013 - 02:49 PM

It's kinda long.

Quote

I was not dead... I was only sleeping.

#3 Frouste

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Posted March 30 2013 - 02:54 PM

It may be better to write it in diary format.
Or you could write it in a third-person point of view, looking at the scene (or character as if it were on stage or in a novel is my style.

Deep blue on dark gray is hard to see, personally.  You may wish to refrain from the use of that particular shade of blue on these forums.

P.S.: Overall, it's a pretty good fan-fic story; I don't click like on a post I don't find funny or like myself.

Edited by Frouste, March 30 2013 - 02:56 PM.

"... And I gazed once more unto the looking glass, but with a clear and unclouded will..."

#4 ecaflip

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Posted March 30 2013 - 03:30 PM

It was a nice read, perhaps you could delve more into the characters backstories and relationships with eachother. Maybe make a flashback to the main character's training days and how each mech is selected for the pilot.
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#5 tman7919

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Posted March 30 2013 - 07:29 PM

View PostYellerBill, on March 30 2013 - 02:49 PM, said:

It's kinda long.
Then you should see mine then. It's only 10% through. Anyways well written. Nice use of technobabble and Hawken terms.
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#6 Beefsweat

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Posted April 01 2013 - 10:23 AM

Pastebin would have come in handy here.
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