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Fred's Dead


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#1 TazzGo

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Posted January 28 2013 - 02:35 PM

Hey,

I don't qualify for h0B0's competition, being part of CB3 (which doesn't exactly make me a veteran :P but rules are rules!) and although I did consider donning a fake moustache/nose/spectacles mask to disguise myself, I thought better of it and decided to do this in order to promote the contest instead :D

Its not just a poetry competition, anything creative can be submitted as long as it fits the criteria so I'd encourage anybody who qualifies (especially creative types) to enter the competition as there's a couple of boosters up for grabs and you've got nothing to lose by entering. Click here for more details.

I was inspired by Neverm0re's poem which is a lot better and more sensible than my own.

This is just me fooling around, so any poetry snobs don't take it too seriously as I abused the term poetic license :P
I admittedly don't know much about poetry and this blatantly ignores any structure or rules there are.
Grammar was sacrificed for rhyming and rhyming was sacrificed for comedy/coherency. Anyway without any further ado I present to you:


Fred's Dead - Dedicated to all of the newbies running around :D

Around the corner he goes,
Chasing the Bruiser close,
Confident he has him now,
Ready to fire his eager TOW,
POW! Alas his prey wheeled 180 degrees,
His own ashes scatter in the breeze,
Locked on Hellfires smashed his head,
Oh no! Freds's Dead!

He has him in his sights,
The Infiltrator is in for a fright,
Whats this!?! Where did he go?
Without a trace, it must be stealth camo!
Panicked! He turns this way and that,
Before the Inf reveals himself, grenade goes splat,
Maybe he should have stayed in bed,
Too late now, Fred's Dead.

Spotting a limping foe he hopes to pummel,
He takes a shortcut through the tunnel,
Grenadier! Watchout ahead! a teammate warned,
He plows on, the caution ignored.
KERTHUNK! is all he hears.
Deafened, he should have used his ears
Captain Hindsight says he should have fled,
Oh well, Fred's Dead!

On the AA he waits for its missle fire,
Cheerful, but ignorant of the ire,
Asecnding from beneath him, oh so content,
A Scout boosts up with malicious intent,
Flak and TOW shock his system,
Causing his vital internals to rupture and schism,
Inside, the pilot is bled,
Who'd have thunk it, Fred's Dead!

Spying a silhouette out in the open
All guns blazing, he dashes out, locked and loaded,
Ammo spent, overheating, the shape still stands,
Confusion fades, its a hologram!
A lone sabot shot rings out,
The rifle crack leaves no doubt,
I guess that's all that can be said,
For we all know, Fred's Dead!

Tazz
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#2 Neverm0re

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Posted January 28 2013 - 02:51 PM

Oh, the days when fred and I were still close. Now he is sitting in my garage gathering dust and I am contemplating actually turning him into a tv, just so he is useful in some little way.
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#3 TazzGo

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Posted January 28 2013 - 09:51 PM

View PostNeverm0re, on January 28 2013 - 02:51 PM, said:

Oh, the days when fred and I were still close. Now he is sitting in my garage gathering dust and I am contemplating actually turning him into a tv, just so he is useful in some little way.

I've always thought a microwave was more fitting lol although either could work
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#4 Subdivision

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Posted January 29 2013 - 05:03 AM

Made me chuckle, awesome stuff mate :lol:

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