HAWKEN servers are up and our latest minor update is live!
Forgot Password_ SUPPORT REDEEM CODE

Jump to content


HWKN: Prologue 00 - Broken Hopes

Project Art Community

  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted March 22 2014 - 07:46 PM

Hey guys, today is the start of unveiling my ambitious project.  I plan to create a story of Hawken set in it's past.  It'll show how the Hawken Universe is as it is, and will show how a certain character become who he/she is (though, that isn't the focus... Or is it_).  Sometimes these works of mine will have pictures, others won't.  I apologize if it's way too long.  I just felt that would break your focus from reading if it was broken up.  Just bare with me or ask me to shorten it up.  This is just the beginning.  I've had this story stuck in my head ever since December 2013, but was too scared to even start.

Enjoy,

Hijinks The Turtle

Broken Hopes


Date:  Unknown; 5.5 years ago.

Daniil strained his eyes while using the scan function through his HUD over the wrecked landscape of the former Crion Solutions artificial isle.  Damn, I’m lost… Well, at least I escaped those Sentium freaks who killed my team.  He glanced once more before retreating back into the safe cockpit of his borrowed Brawler.  He scrolled through the system status checklist in his visor and through the cockpit screen.  Hmm… Life Support is fine… Suspensions, Fuel, and Weapons are functional…  Daniil paused and waited for the Air Filters to remove airborne Giga Structure fragments before removing his helmet and shut his eyes.  But that fuzzy bunny ambush took out more than half my armor, the internal systems aren't working, my radar is freezing up, not to mention the shield arms are malfunctioning…  He sighed and stretched from fatigue.  Who the hell were those guys_

He clenched his fists and jumped a little when he heard a rustle echo, bouncing off the walls of the ever present Giga-Structure that covered the isle.  He glanced around the large bridge structure for potential enemies and closed his eyes while relaxing his hands.  I must be going paranoid, but that’s expected for what I just saw…  What the hell is Sentium doing_  Recent painful memories of panicked screams of comrades rose to the surface of his consciousness as he grimaced and remembered enemy axes doing impossible feats as his battalion was burning in their wrecked chassis.  He was the last to make it out alive.  Stop.  He opened his eyes and bit his lip.  I’m an elite soldier, a colonel, by fuzzy bunny’s sake!  I must focus at the task at hand... But this is just insane.

Daniil reached into the small compartment inside the cockpit for his antique pocket watch he got from his father long ago.   An old flickering holopicture of a kind, blond, rounded-faced woman and a small girl with the same hair color both smiled back at him as he opened it.  Fae, my wife…  I miss you so much dear, you’d probably be crying right now.  A creak and a groan from the large alien structure resounded around him.  His eyes narrowed, as he looped the pocket watch around his neck and gripped the dual yoke controls tightly and activated the pitiful remaining armaments, just in case.  Let’s see… Enough flak shells to last me a two minute firefight, about two TOW rockets and… He hesitated. A self-detonation device in case of capture.  I thought those things were illegal…  His barely functioning radar pinged.  He clenched his jaw as he felt the ground shake as the distinctive automatous sound of two axes rumbled nearby.

“Heeeey… Little axe pilot…..  Why did you run away_  We were just getting started!”  A gleeful voice said over the Public COMM, as a B-class Bruiser axe came into view.  “You know... I hear some myths about this lovely place…  Did you know that you can still hear the screams and cries of the people who died here_”  The pilot’s comrade came from behind in a B-class Assault and blocked the other side of the bridge with his guns trained on Daniil.  “They say the souls of the ones who die here never leave.  It’s the perfect place for fuzzy bunny rabble like you.”

“You move, you die.  Got it Prosk slave_” The other said with a gruff voice.  “Hey Sage, you do realize this fuzzy bunny pilot stole that axe right_”

“Whoa… Looks like we got a real troublemaker here, that’s good.  Time to clean house!”  Sage cheered.  He snapped his hellfires at the hapless Brawler and fired faster than Daniil ever thought possible.

Daniil tried to dodge the incoming fire but the thrusters weren’t responding. What the hec-_  Explosions wracked the entire chassis of his Brawler as Daniil smacked his head against the cockpit view screen and tasted copper in his mouth.  Freaking piece of Sentium trash, I need my actual axe….  Daniil stared at the looming Brusier.  This guy’s movements…!  He’s too fast to be a regular human!  Daniil’s mind raced as images of his daughter flashed through his head, her blond hair waving, as Sage’s Brusier started spinning his Vulcan.  I’m not going to make it out of here am I…_  His already deep frown deepened as his eyes twinkled.  I could have at least been a better daddy for you…  Oh Fae, please protect her…  Vulcan rounds shredded his already worn armor plating.

“Heh.  The persistent fool is still alive, impressive considering the… added special armaments and equipment in our axes,” said the gruff Assault pilot.  “Why don’t we-“  A two-toned bell sound echoed across the expansive manmade isle.

Sage groaned, “Aw, we gotta head back_  Things were just about to get fun…  Just let me finish h-“  Daniil cut him off by firing a TOW rocket, but hopelessly watched it fly through Sage’s Bruiser with widened eyes.

Wha..!_!  Daniil thought.  The TOW exploded harmlessly behind the apparently ethereal Bruiser.

“Those cannon fodder buddies of yours… I told them they can’t touch me, why should you even try_  It’s rather pathetic!”  Sage yelled with vigor as he shot a Detonator as soon as he spoke.  Daniil shut his eyes, bracing for the explosion.  He felt nothing.  He stared in confusion at what happened.  “Confused_  Want me to help you out_” Sage asked.  A second later, thousands micro-sized explosions pitted Daniil’s Brawler.  The damaged machine dropped to one knee.

“Wow, not much of a talkative guy.  Eh, Sage_”  the Assault Pilot grunted.  “Want me to deal with ‘im_”

“Back off Tartarus!  He’s my prey…”  Sage snarled as he turned back toward Daniil.

That wasn’t a hologram!  He shot me with some kind of weird version of a Det even though my TOW went through him!  Daniil felt the antique pocket watch’s cool bronze casing brush against his chest through his tattered uniform.  Thousands of errors and warnings overfilled the cracked cockpit screen.  He saw more flashes of how distant he was to his daughter in his mind.  I’m so sorry… Looks like I can’t make it up to you.  I tried to keep you away from getting involved with the military and all I did was create a rift between us.  He gripped the yokes even harder.  I’m going to be your daddy and protect you at least once!  

With his mind set, he opened up the Public COMM.  “As the leader of Eighty Seventh Battalion, I will stop you Sentium scumbags!”  Daniil roared as he set the detonation device to explode.  For my family!  For Fae!  For Laila!

“Damn!  Energy readings are rising exponentially!  Sage, he’s gonna blow!”  bellowed Tartarus as he and Sage tried to boost away.

Daniil smiled and saw the most intense light and the most heat he’d ever-

***********

Smoldering wreckage and smoke filled the entire expanse of the bridge, much of the Giga Structure on the bridge was melted into broiling molten metal and dripped everywhere.  Two blackened metal giants slowly trod out of the dull gray mists.

“Hey Tartarus, you okay_” rasped Sage.  “Fuzzy bunny stubborn old man… Scratched my paint…”

Tartarus coughed, “Yeah, though we need replacements for our equipment.  Call the Organization that we completed our mission.”

“Sir, we’ve successfully stopped the Prosk battalion from finding out what we’re doing.”  Sage said through a secure COMM line.

“Good…  Did they think you were Sentium forces_”

They have no idea that we are a mix of both corporations, it makes everything more fun! “Yes sir.”  Sage paused.  “Sir, the battalion was the Eighty Seventh.   Their CO scratched our paint.  Permission to exact revenge on his family.”

“Granted, make sure it looks like an accident.”

Sage grinned, he was sure Tartarus was too.  “Thank you, sir.”  answered Sage.

“Good luck, Sit laus ejus Christum adoremus in Hawken.  Get all your gear restocked and your axes repaired."

“Very good, sir.  Understood.”  Time for the fun part to start…

=End of Prologue=


Thanks to: Lazy Kittens, Magnolia1038, SandSpider, and Wi2P

Without these wonderful people, I honestly wouldn't have made this.  It would have all stayed in my head without anyone enjoying it.  They helped me keep on going and helped by inspiring me.  There is more to come!  If you enjoyed this prologue, follow my art thread (link is in my signature), like this story, comment here.  Then you are also helping me keep on going.  Balancing stuff like this with irl stuff is quite hard.  Thank you for reading this!

Update:  Fixed some minor errors and broke up a few paragraphs from the dialogue to make it easier to read.
Update2:  Fixed another error, argh!  It bothers me so much!
Update3:  Found more errors and fixed them.  They won't escape!
Update4:  Character Bios:  https://community.pl..._20#entry477658

Edited by Hijinks_The_Turtle, April 01 2014 - 12:50 PM.


#2 Wi2P

Wi2P

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 677 posts
  • Location.. Recalculating ..

Posted March 22 2014 - 08:14 PM

This is to par with some of the finest work I've seen on these forums, Hijinks, and you didn't bore me for even one moment. Inventive, detailed, and full of piquing dialogue. ^_^

(The only critique of mention would be to watch out for those "fuzzy bunnies". ;) )

I'm honored to be of note in your thanks, and will most certainly continue to read Broken Hopes as you release it.

~  Wi2P

#3 Magnolia1038

Magnolia1038

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 284 posts
  • LocationThe Pen Is Mightier Than The Axe

Posted March 22 2014 - 09:24 PM

Great read! Love the dialogue as well and look forward to the rest!

#4 hoghead

hoghead

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 766 posts
  • LocationShow Me State

Posted March 22 2014 - 11:15 PM

Great read really enjoyed it, Hijinks I hope you write more. hog :)

#5 Dr_Freeze001

Dr_Freeze001

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 394 posts
  • LocationBelgium, GMT+1

Posted March 22 2014 - 11:33 PM

I loved it, and I would love reading more of it!

Keep going :).

#6 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted March 23 2014 - 03:18 AM

View PostWi2P, on March 22 2014 - 08:14 PM, said:

This is to par with some of the finest work I've seen on these forums, Hijinks, and you didn't bore me for even one moment. Inventive, detailed, and full of piquing dialogue. ^_^

(The only critique of mention would be to watch out for those "fuzzy bunnies". ;) )

I'm honored to be of note in your thanks, and will most certainly continue to read Broken Hopes as you release it.

~  Wi2P

Haha, nooo.  The 'Fuzzy bunnies' are intentional.  I did not write any swear words what so ever.  I typed 'fuzzy bunny' out since the word seems to be some type of swear (technically) in this universe.  Remember that when it appears in my story.  ;)

Edited by Hijinks_The_Turtle, March 23 2014 - 03:19 AM.


#7 Aregon

Aregon

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,349 posts
  • LocationDistrict 19, Kobalt, Crion, Illal

Posted March 23 2014 - 04:33 AM

If you need some character designs I am pretty sure I can come up with some.

Good story!
I`ll fix it later.

#8 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted March 23 2014 - 05:28 AM

View PostAregon, on March 23 2014 - 04:33 AM, said:

If you need some character designs I am pretty sure I can come up with some.

Good story!

I'm honored!  I would enjoy to see some samples of your artwork, do pm me!  I've made a couple drawings already of characters (though not these particular ones).  I await for your artwork!

Remember guys, sneak peeks will be posted in my art thread besides my small funny drawings.  I'm glad that people like what I wrote! ^_^

Edited by Hijinks_The_Turtle, March 23 2014 - 05:31 AM.


#9 lazy_kittens

lazy_kittens

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 255 posts
  • LocationSOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW AND INSIDE FRANK'S BUTT

Posted March 23 2014 - 09:17 AM

Wow! I really really enjoyed your prologue! *gasp*, "OMG, it's Laila!", and a variety of facial expressions were my initial reaction! Seriously, please keep this up :D

View PostWi2P, on March 22 2014 - 08:14 PM, said:

I'm honored to be of note in your thanks, and will most certainly continue to read Broken Hopes as you release it.
This ^
As if s/he stole the words from my mouth XD

Edited by lazy_kittens, March 23 2014 - 09:18 AM.

Du LAhYzzE_keetOHnz

#10 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted March 23 2014 - 10:07 AM

Spoiler

Lol!  I was waiting for someone to say it!  I wonder how many others figured it out before getting to that part or what their reactions were.

View PostWi2P, on March 22 2014 - 08:14 PM, said:

I'm honored to be of note in your thanks, and will most certainly continue to read Broken Hopes as you release it.

~  Wi2P

Oh I forgot to say!  Broken Hopes is not the title!  That's just the name of the chapter!  If it was just 'Broken Hopes' that's utterly depressing, even for me. XD  There will be happy parts, I assure you.

Edited by Hijinks_The_Turtle, March 23 2014 - 01:39 PM.


#11 SandSpider

SandSpider

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 795 posts
  • LocationThe ninth dimension

Posted March 25 2014 - 03:24 AM

This is brilliant and very intriguing. I can't wait to read more and find out what is going on. Great writing, and thanks for mentioning me :D

#12 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted March 27 2014 - 05:50 PM

Hey guys, just a heads up!  There will be something called 'Laila's Journal entries" that will be put between appropriate chapters of HWKN (insert epic title here, I dunno what I'm going to call these groups of 'chapters').  These Journal entries will be typed in Laila's perspective of things and whatnot.

I hope you're excited, because I am!  (it'll come soon.  Today, you ask_  That's too soon!  I must finish a few things before then.)  ;)

Edited by Hijinks_The_Turtle, March 27 2014 - 05:52 PM.


#13 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted March 31 2014 - 08:29 AM

It's here!

https://community.pl...rnal-entry-128/

#14 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted April 18 2014 - 07:22 PM

First part of chapter 1 is here!

https://community.pl...-1/#entry501644

#15 KilleR_OrigiNs

KilleR_OrigiNs

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 221 posts
  • LocationLast Sighted: Praxis Valley

Posted April 26 2014 - 03:38 AM

I've been putting off reading your work for far too long, and now that I've read it, I'm thrilled to see just how crazy this Sage person is ;)
Posted Image

eth0 said:

are you made of cupcakes and puppies_

View PostSylhiri, on July 13 2014 - 10:29 PM, said:

Never underestimate the power of the epeen.

View PostSatelliteJack, on July 13 2014 - 10:46 PM, said:

Droppin' wisdom bombs

#16 Hijinks_The_Turtle

Hijinks_The_Turtle

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,569 posts
  • LocationTurtles be turtlin'

Posted April 28 2014 - 01:59 PM

View PostKilleR_OrigiNs, on April 26 2014 - 03:38 AM, said:

I've been putting off reading your work for far too long, and now that I've read it, I'm thrilled to see just how crazy this Sage person is ;)

Oh!  I forgot to tell you guys something!  Sage and Tartarus will appear very soon.  I'm not telling where though.  ;)

#17 Wi2P

Wi2P

    Advanced Member

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 677 posts
  • Location.. Recalculating ..

Posted April 28 2014 - 05:50 PM

View PostHijinks_The_Turtle, on April 28 2014 - 01:59 PM, said:

View PostKilleR_OrigiNs, on April 26 2014 - 03:38 AM, said:

I've been putting off reading your work for far too long, and now that I've read it, I'm thrilled to see just how crazy this Sage person is ;)

Oh!  I forgot to tell you guys something!  Sage and Tartarus will appear very soon.  I'm not telling where though.  ;)

I dislike them, highly. That's an indicator of well-written maniacs, or the first sign that I'll have a deathwish for both of them. ;)





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Project, Art, Community

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users