...hahhh, hahah... ...sorry... ...can't resist... *shakes head* ...here it goes...
THE HAWKEN GAZETTE
ISSUE No 2 - reloaded
(..muahahaha...)
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!!! NEWSFLASH !!!
1st ISSUE OF THE HAWKEN GAZETTE ERASED BY MODERATORS SHORTLY AFTER PUBLICATION!
READ HERE ABOUT THE LATEST INCONCEIVABLE SCANDAL !!!
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JUST AFTER PUBLICATION OF OUR BELOVED NEW HAWKEN GAZETTE, THE SO-CALLED "MODERATORS" - A SPECIES WELL-KNOWN TO COLLABORATE WITH OUR OPRESSORS FROM THE FUTURE, "THE RELOADED", DARED TO ADMINISTER A GAGGING ORDER AGAINST OUR PUBLISHING HOUSE, IN ORDER TO VEIL THE TRUTH FROM OUR LOYAL READERS !!!
JUST RIGHT AFTER OUR UNDERCOVER REPORTER - LET'S CALL HIM "gArphEus" FOR THE MOMENT - PUBLISHED AN ARTICLE IN THE VERY EARLY MORNING ABOUT THE LAG "THE RELOADED" ATTACKS OUR GAMING SERVERS WITH, INCLUDING A CHAT DIALOG HE WITNESSED, PROVING THE DEGREE OF DESASTER IT CAUSES, ONE OF THE ALLIES OF "THE RELOADED" TRIED TO SMOTHER UP OUR UNCOVERINGS BY ERASING THE WHOLE ARTICLE WITHOUT ANY NOTIFICATION OR INDICATION OF REASONS !!! - HA !!! - BUT WE UPRIGHT CITIZENS OF ILLAL ALL KNOW WHY ALREADY, AND WE WILL FAITHFUL KEEP FIGHTING AND RAISING THE FLAG FOR ALL THOSE SUFFERING THE PAINFUL LAG, "THE RELOADED" USE TO SABOTAGE OUR WIMPY EFFORDS TO DEFEAT THEIR CHEATING AIMBOTS, THAT STILL HUMBLES OUR PLAYING COMMUNITY !!! DON'T BE TAKEN IN THE FALSE INFORMATIONS THEY SPREAD !!!
OR THOSE THEY DON'T !!!
WE ALSO WILL KEEP REPORTING ABOUT THE OTHER CRIMES THEY DO, BUT FOR THIS WE NEED YOUR HELP NOW !!!
JOIN "THE HAWKEN GAZETTE UNDERCOVER REPORTER TEAM" ("THGURT") WRITE THE NEXT ARTICLE ABOUT THE SINISTER MACHINATIONS OF OUR ENEMIES, AND HELP SPREADING THE UNCENSORED TRUTH AMONG OUR LINES OF DEFENSE IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF:
THE HAWKEN GAZETTE
AND IN THE END WE SHALL PREVAIL !!!
HUAR !!!
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ALL CHARACTERS APPEARING IN THIS WORK ARE FICTIOUS. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL OR UNREAL PERSONS, LIVING, DEAD OR UNDEAD, AND THE STORY ITSELF IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL, INCLUDING THE AUTHOR.
THIS ARTICLE IS PROTECTED UNDER THE COPYRIGHT LAWS OF ILLAL, AND ALL OTHER WORLDS THROUGHOUT THIS PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
ANY UNAUTHORIZED ERASING, REPOSITIONING, OR FALSIFICATION OF THIS WORK MAY RESULT IN LAUGHTER AND MOCKERY.
NO PERSON OR ENTITY ASSOCIATED WITH THIS ARTICLE RECEIVED PAYMENT OR ANYTHING OF VALUE, OR ENTERED INTO ANY AGREEMENT OR CONNECTION WITH THE DEPICTION OF GAMING PRODUCTS.
NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS ARTICLE.
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HEY MODS ... IT'S A JOKE !!! - JUST A JOKE !!! - JUST AS PERFORMANCE OF THE EU SERVERS ACTUALLY...
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