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Is this satire?

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#1
ticklemyiguana

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This... I promise. It's worth a whole new thread. If you want to criticize or stand in support of Reloaded's latest....... uh... update... go here.

In the meantime, in that thread, I point out the thing that's on the front page of playhawken.com. The thing is, one of the weapons didn't register with me because it's at an angle I've never seen. Here.

E0VeoDm.png


No, no. This thread is to question whether or not Reloaded is literally just fuzzy bunnyng with us. I don't mean that sarcastically. I feel like it would take serious effort to come up with a mech THAT DUAL WIELDS SEEKER MISSILES. In support of this hypothesis, I will direct you to the caption "What you've always wanted." Because. Like. How. How can that not be a joke?

Evidence that points to "What you've always wanted" as being an actual joke:
  • It looks like a G2 mech - something that's been hotly debated in the past and many people are against.
  • It uses a seeker, which is arguably the least popular weapon by opinion in the game.
  • It dual wields a seeker, and the only other mech that dual wields weapons is arguably the least popular mech in the game, and again, this time it's seekers.
  • It's on an A class frame. Nothing wrong with A classes, but they need to either have high DPS or high burst damage, and the seeker has straight up neither. In fact, it has low DPS, no burst damage, requires line of sight to lock on, and is a slow moving projectile. And you're supposed to make that work without taking damage from your opponent.
  • The only people on the forums right now are people who play on the PC, and clearly, that says "Xbox One", so again, not something any of us have "always wanted".
If this isn't a joke, if this actually isn't a joke, you need to fire people. This literally has to be satire. It only functions as satire.

Further evidence on the landing page:
Some of the text has been replaced by numbers; there's a 4 instead of an A, a 3 instead of an E. I am truly baffled. Utterly bamboozled.

Edit: Apparently that's been that way.

Edited by ticklemyiguana, 14 June 2016 - 04:22 AM.

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#2
ATX22

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Maybe the dual seekers for console players are going to get a huge dmg and tracking buff while PC users get none of that dual seeker action?  :teehee:

 

Honestly though, every time I see that I can't stop laughing.



#3
OdinTheWise

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it makes me ponder the logic involved in green lighting such a piece of garbage 


Edited by (thc)OdinTheWise, 13 June 2016 - 09:56 PM.

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#4
JeffMagnum

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Is this some sort of fuzzy bunnyng Mountain Dew camouflage collab lmao

 

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#5
Sigil_

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It is possible that it's just a mockup. The G2 Assault's Vulcans are the same model, just mirrored. It wouldn't be too hard to do the same thing with another weapon with dev tools.
Then again, you could just copy the Seeker's stats into the secondaries table and make this thing.

Edited by Sigil_, 13 June 2016 - 10:52 PM.

No melee. No lasers.


#6
MomOw

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I hope it will be console specific

 

#skillfire #G2 #XBone #lol


Edited by (KDR) MomOw, 13 June 2016 - 10:59 PM.

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#7
Aregon

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The text has always been MLG 1337, but yea I think we have been goofed here. 


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#8
americanbrit14

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Further evidence on the landing page:

Some of the text has been replaced by numbers; there's a 4 instead of an A, a 3 instead of an E. I am truly baffled. Utterly bamboozled.

i think thats actually always been there, even before reloaded bought hawken


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#9
MomOw

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I hope it will be console specific

 

#skillfire #G2 #XBone #lol

 

to be more precise : Make it a dual Heat canon for PC players and a dual seeker for console players.


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#10
Miscellaneous

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Honestly? I don't think it's a real mech. I think they've thrown a load of assets together, shoved the console colours on it and put it out there.

 

Hell, look at some of the old promo art for the game, Patrick chassis with all kinds of weird weapons stuck on it. Even check right now on the Predator official wiki page - It has a T32 and some other random weapon we've never seen before. Look at old art for the game:

 

 

1075197-hawken-backgrounds-gallery.jpg

 

An Assault with an AM-SAR? See what I mean? There's been a long standing history, even with the old devs, of putting things together just to make something that looks cool and gets people hooked.

 

To do with the text, it's always been like that. It's only being noticed now because people are paying attention to the page more.

 

Also, anyone else noticed the currency change? They're no longer meteor credits, the icon has changed.

 

TL;DR I think we;re giving this "dual seeker" mech more attention than it deserves. 


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#11
DallasCreeper

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1075197-hawken-backgrounds-gallery.jpg

 

 

Wait... is that a  Rocketeer with 2 Corsair KLA's?


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#12
DeeRax

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Wait... is that a  Rocketeer with 2 Corsair KLA's?

G3 Raider.


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#13
1uster

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In their first content update they double the mech count - I actually don't believe they have any idea what is good for the game balance-wise. So yeah. They are serious with this. And they will screw it.


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#14
DallasCreeper

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I actually don't believe they have any idea what is good for the game balance-wise. So yeah. They are serious with this. And they will screw it.


Edited by (TDM) DallasCreeper, 14 June 2016 - 10:21 AM.

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#15
Sylhiri

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There's been a long standing history, even with the old devs, of putting things together just to make something that looks cool and gets people hooked.

 

That would work if it looked cool. Even if I didn't know the game it still looks pretty horrible, they should have used more interesting weapons tbh.

 

 

In their first content update they double the mech count - I actually don't believe they have any idea what is good for the game balance-wise. So yeah. They are serious with this. And they will screw it.

 

Did they say they were releasing them all at the same time? If they wanted to milk the **** out of it they would do the 1 month per mech thing.


Edited by Sylhiri, 14 June 2016 - 10:18 AM.


#16
Hyginos

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Did they say they were releasing them all at the same time? If they wanted to milk the **** out of it they would do the 1 month per mech thing.

 

I would prefer they do that anyway so we can tell them how fuzzy bunny their balance decisions are one by one instead of having to spread the vitriol around.

 

For now, just remember to repeatedly tell RLD how badly scanner needs to be fixed deleted.


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#17
hellc9943

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Did they say they were releasing them all at the same time? If they wanted to milk the **** out of it they would do the 1 month per mech thing.

The trailer said "30 mechs from the start and more to come", iirc.


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#18
TheButtSatisfier

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-snip-

 

Given that the page in question is marketed at console gamers - the vast majority of whom will probably have never played Hawken on PC and wouldn't recognize "what you've always wanted" as being satirical - I think that phrase follows from the E3 announcers on the live stream saying something to the effect of a team-based mech FPS "finally" landing on consoles. As in, "oh boy, a team-based mech fighter on consoles, this is what I've always wanted".

 

I don't think that Reloaded, as a company, would sit down at a meeting regarding the public announcement of their IP going to consoles and say to themselves, "Yes, the only way we can make this announcement even more successful is if we intentionally try to screw with our die-hard remaining PC fanbase".

 

Admittedly, I think they could have made that marketing page a lot better without running the risk of coming off as satirical.


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#19
ticklemyiguana

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the vast majority of whom

Who. You filthy ingrate.

 

Actually. You know what? That's a kind of tricky one. I was always taught to answer the question as near as possible to the wording, and if the answer included "him/her" it was whom, otherwise it's who.

 

But this isn't a question. fuzzy bunny off, Butt.

 

That being said, it could be written as "He will probably have never played..." whereas it wouldn't make sense with "him". I still believe it's who, and you're still a filthy ingrate.


Edited by ticklemyiguana, 14 June 2016 - 12:00 PM.

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#20
Hyginos

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I don't think that Reloaded, as a company, would sit down at a meeting regarding the public announcement of their IP going to consoles and say to themselves, "Yes, the only way we can make this announcement even more successful is if we intentionally try to screw with our die-hard remaining PC fanbase".

 

At the same time I wouldn't expect them to give that group any particular consideration. Pissed off the 20 people who played comp Hawken two years ago and are still around? Meaningless if you have a few thousand potentially lucrative console players to pander too.


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#21
TheButtSatisfier

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Who. You filthy ingrate.

 

You'll have no argument from me there.

 

Regarding the grammar: do you think "which" is more appropriate? I honestly hadn't considered the difference between "who" and "whom", despite being an avid Archer fan. Shame on me.

 

At the same time I wouldn't expect them to give that group any particular consideration. Pissed off the 20 people who played comp Hawken two years ago and are still around? Meaningless if you have a few thousand potentially lucrative console players to pander too.

 

That's valid, and I suppose it really depends on the mentality of the Reloaded powers that be.

 

I'm of the loosely-held opinion that I don't think they'd risk leaving evidence that they gave a sly middle finger to a relic community. It's not damning now, of course; some might argue that we as a community deserve that satire, and the only ones that are going to get upset about it would be all 100 of us. But in some future where Reloaded has somehow screwed the pooch with console-Hawken, and an angry console fanbase with time and malice on their hands decides to pour through that one old forum from the PC-Hawken days, then bam - you have supporting evidence that Reloaded is willing to play dirty with at least one of its communities to some degree.

 

Again, very loosely held opinion, and a far-fetched scenario. Fun to speculate.


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#22
Jelooboi

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Wait... is that a  Rocketeer with 2 Corsair KLA's?

the G3 Raider....



#23
crockrocket

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They did it for PS4 too

 

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#24
DeeRax

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Seekateer*:

Primary: Seeker XT
Secondary: Seeker XT
Ability: Seekers: AoE ability that lasts a minute; All allies within range have both their weapons replaced with Seekers for the duration of the ability while they are within range of the Seekateer's Seekers ability.

*XBOX1 and PS4 exclusive


Edited by (TDM) DeeRax, 14 June 2016 - 01:19 PM.

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#25
DallasCreeper

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Seekateer*:

Primary: Seeker XT
Secondary: Seeker XT
Ability: Seekers: AoE ability that lasts a minute; All allies within range have both their weapons replaced with Seekers for the duration of the ability while they are within range of the Seekateer's Seekers ability.

*XBOX1 and PS4 exclusive

KILL IT WITH FIRE!


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#26
Shade__

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Seekatard*:

Primary: Seeker XT
Secondary: Seeker XT
Ability: Seekers: AoE ability that lasts a minute; All allies within range have both their weapons replaced with Seekers for the duration of the ability while they are within range of the Seekatard's Seekers ability.

*XBOX1 and PS4 exclusive

 

 

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

 

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            GET IN


Edited by Shade__, 14 June 2016 - 03:42 PM.

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#27
Pandabaron

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The thing is, why would they be satirical in piecing together whatever that thing is (as the 'new mech'  is effectively various buyable spare light mech parts kinda cobbled together) when they have upwards of 12 mechs to also release. What i'm trying to say is, they would've had to have put some serious effort into making 12 new mechs, why just model a thirteenth just for kicks. My conclusion is that it is likely going to be a mech, it's here to stay, and if could've potentially have been one of the best ones they could come up with as it's on the websites home page. 


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#28
Kopra

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Edited by (KDR) Kopra, 14 June 2016 - 11:13 PM.

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#29
Pandabaron

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I've gotta say, I think I prefer the coca-cola Zerker lol at least the slug and the GL is something different that could potentially work together.. Two seekers just makes me want to end it all.
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#30
DemitronPrime

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I've gotta say, I think I prefer the coca-cola Zerker lol at least the slug and the GL is something different that could potentially work together.. Two seekers just makes me want to end it all.

 

They COULD have made a brawler with twin vulcan s and made it sumo squat...

g3 assualt.....

 

lets hope not though ^_^


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