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Rusteez Nutz: Slightly Used Mech Emporium

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#1
Siraithor

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Look here, vets. New recruits are comen', all green and with pockets full'a cash. Your job is to show em' your favorite mech and sell it hard and good. Why is your reaper maken' brawlers look like nothing more than rolly pollies on a battlefield. I don't want a single man leave here today without knowing exactly what mech will cart them to victory.  Make them love it at first sight, be it for playstyle, armaments, or look'n just plain cool, tell them just why one day they'll be singing the same tune you are. 

 

(tl;dr Pitch your favorite mech  on why it's your best and how it's meant to be used as a buyers guide for the new meat.)


Edited by Siraithor, 23 March 2015 - 04:24 AM.


#2
Black_Knight_Sky

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This is a hard question for those of us with a large variety of mechs in the garage, but if I had to suggest one to a newer player it would be either the Assault or Berserker, since they don't stray too far from the CR-T as far as playstyle/weapons go. The Assault because the ability to cooldown your weapons at a button press comes in handy when that 1v1 starts getting extra heads, plus the slight HP increase is nice. Berserker because being able to pop your ability, get in, get a kill and get out with serious speed can be very fun, most def not for sustained fights though as I'm pretty sure it's made of tinsel, and everyone loves to focus on the A class whizzing around.


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#3
Merl61

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Assault is the games best mech. Zerker is the easiest. Scout is the most fun. Pred is the hardest. Incinerator is the most over powered. Tech is the most hated. Brawler is the fattest. G2 Assault is the worst. G2 raider is the most underrated. Raider is the most rewarding.

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#4
ticklemyiguana

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Can you sell me some mech insurance for my bruiser?

Spoiler

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#5
YellerBill

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Do you like MASSIVE DPS? Do you enjoy ABSURDLY FAST-FIRING SNIPER RIFLES? Do you like GOING FAST?

 

Then the REAPER is the mech for you! With a fast-firing KE-Sabot and an even faster firing AM-SAR there is nothing that can stand up to your DPS! It flanks! It shoots! It overheats and dies kills everything it sees!

 

BUY YOURS TODAY!


We can cap if we want to/ We can leave your friends behind/ 'Cause your friends don't cap and if they don't cap/ Well they're no friends of mine


#6
Zdragow

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Do you like explosions? No, listen up. Do you LIKE EXPLOSIONS? Do you like BLOWING FUZZY BUNNY UP? Do you want EVERYTHING to explode?

 

Then what the hell are you waiting for? Get yourself a GRENADIER today! It has not one, but TWO grenade launchers for MAXIMUM EXPLOSIVENESS.

 

NOTHING will remain unexploded with YOU on the battlefield. Grenades bouncing back at you and hitting you in the face? NO PROBLEM, YOU LIKE THAT FUZZY BUNNY.

 

Just make sure to die in a great ball of fire when you yourself explode.

 

GO EXPLODE NOW!


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#7
Z3roCool007

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I'd like some insurance for my Bruiser,

This damned Prosk insurance is duke.


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Your friendly neighbourhood lurker.


#8
Aura_Anima

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Do you like grilling?

 

Do you like roasting marshmallows?

 

Do you like FIRE?

 

If you've answered yes to any of the above questions then the Incinerator is for you!

 

Arm yourself with man kind's best weapon: FIRE! Equip your Incinerator with the PPA Minigun and you can bath the enemy team in glorious FIRE! You will find yourself running out of targets faster than heat to spend on FIRE! Immolate all those annoying class A mechs swarming around you face with a single heat dispersion attack. What is that you might ask? Well it's the Incinerators special ability, slamming the ground and creating a ball of FIRE

 

Buy today for the low, low price of 12,816 HC or 1224 MC! 

 

Prices subject to change, void where prohibited. Prosk corporation not responsible for any third degree burns resulting from usage of product. Fire extinguisher not included. REMEMBER: only you can prevent forest fires.


Edited by Aura_Anima, 23 March 2015 - 07:59 AM.

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#9
StubbornPuppet

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With absolutely no disrespect or anger towards anyone above's post;

I think this topic and most of it's comments paint a completely untrue picture of Hawken - that it's about pay-to-win and about buying the right mech and setup to win.

 

Nonsense.  Each and every mech can be just as dangerous and successful as any other.  There is no such thing as a better mech.  It all comes down to player style and practice, practice, practice.


To be serious for a moment this is just a joke

 


#10
Merl61

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With absolutely no disrespect or anger towards anyone above's post;
I think this topic and most of it's comments paint a completely untrue picture of Hawken - that it's about pay-to-win and about buying the right mech and setup to win.
 
Nonsense.  Each and every mech can be just as dangerous and successful as any other.  There is no such thing as a better mech.  It all comes down to player style and practice, practice, practice.

False. There are stronger and weaker mechs. I don't care how good you are. It's just a fact. That doesn't mean that they all don't have their place, but saying that there are no weak/strong mechs is just plain wrong.

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#11
PoopSlinger

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Get the Raider, its the fastest most adrenaline fuel mech in the game.  Then once you beat that, you get the G2RAIDER  !!!!

THE MOTHERfuzzy bunnyNG BATTLETURKEY     Its the health of a fat robot with the speed of the small robots.   That should be enough explaining


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Come on Crafty, you have been officially called out on your lies. Your online reputation is at stake here, this is just like an old school street race running for pink slips. Its run what you brung and hope its enough. Put up or shut the fuzzy bunny up.


#12
comic_sans

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[Wide angle shot of an 80s Jaguar convertible driving swiftly along an open coastal California road; it is near sunset. The driver is an attractive 40something, and the passenger is a devastating blonde with long hair in her early thirties; both are seen to be wearing aviators and smiling mischievously, one raised eyebrow barely visible on each]

 

Exhilaration.  It's the most potent of human emotions.  Whether you seek it or it finds you, you remember it.  

 

[Cut to close-up of driver's side; nothing is visible below the door handle or approx. 1' above the driver's head]

 

And it...

 

[Slow clockwise revolve and zoom out to reveal that the Jaguar is now a g2 raider, moving at the same speed along the coastal road with an easy, uncanny gait; the woman grins early on in the zoom]

 

Remembers you.

 

Introducing the G2 Raider.  Find your exhilaration.

 

[Cut to pricing information for allotted time]

 

[Cut to carefree laughing couple riding the road to the horizon]

 

Only from Prosk.

 

[Lens flare obscures mech and screen; fade to black]


Edited by comic_sans, 23 March 2015 - 11:52 AM.

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100% Hamburger | #becomeinpopcorn

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#13
StubbornPuppet

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False. There are stronger and weaker mechs. I don't care how good you are. It's just a fact. That doesn't mean that they all don't have their place, but saying that there are no weak/strong mechs is just plain wrong.

In all fairness, I didn't say "weaker" or "stronger", just none which are better than others all around.


To be serious for a moment this is just a joke

 


#14
Aregon

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G2 Assault is the worst.

That is what I am saying people! It needs a buff damnit!

CRITICAL ASSIST

United in Diversity, Divided by Zero
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Spoiler

 

 


#15
LiquidCocaine

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OK guys im a buyer and want the best mech to help me win a lot with having little difficulty playing while still having fun! no mech or setup is out of the question for me. However like all customers I do lean towards certain preferences. I currently have been playing a lot of the raider. I like its shot gun and its ability to go fast and still survive. I love being in the front line and being a little bit reckless. 

 

What would be the best type of mech for me and the best build for it? 

 

If there  is also "most op mech" I would love to know it even if it takes some skill to play it since skill can be gained over a period of play time and learning.

 

 

Winner gets absolutely nothing except bragging rights that they sold the first mech on this thread!

 

p.s. Im pregnant.



#16
JeffMagnum

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This should make your decisions easier


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#17
Siraithor

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Literally one of the greatest things I've seen on the internet to date. 



#18
LiquidCocaine

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It did now I am a proud renter of the best assault mech in the game! thank you 



#19
OmegaNull

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How is Khang's still up? XD


Scootin' 'n Shoot | Bawlin' 'n Brawlin' | Ragin' 'n Raidin'

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"Velocitas et Eradico"


#20
YellerBill

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My god. It lives.


We can cap if we want to/ We can leave your friends behind/ 'Cause your friends don't cap and if they don't cap/ Well they're no friends of mine


#21
Nov8tr

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ROFL.........Jeff you are ate up dude.........but in a good way.  \o/


"Nov8tr" is pronounced "INNOVATOR"

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Yes I'm really 64 yrs old. July 6, 1953





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