21 replies to this topic

[Skylead]

http://www.jasonbock...fa6506e2f35eaac


For those that don't want to click the link

If Carpenters Were Hired Like Programmers
The following joke was posted to an internal Magenic list. I don't know who actually wrote it, and I'll give credit if someone points out the creator of the joke. It perfectly illustrates what I think developers (especially consultants) have to go through all the time when they're interviewing for the next gig.

Interviewer: So, you're a carpenter, are you_
Carpenter: That's right, that's what I do.

Interviewer: How long have you been doing it_
Carpenter: Ten years.

Interviewer: Great, that's good. Now, I have a few technical questions to ask you to see if you're a fit for our team. OK_
Carpenter: Sure, that'd be fine.

Interviewer: First of all, we're working in a subdivision building a lot of brown houses. Have you built a lot of brown houses before_
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I build houses, and people pretty much paint them the way they want.

Interviewer: Yes, I understand that, but can you give me an idea of how much experience you have with brown_ Roughly.
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know. Once they're built I don't care what color they get painted. Maybe six months_

Interviewer: Six months_ Well, we were looking for someone with a lot more brown experience, but let me ask you some more questions.
Carpenter: Well, OK, but paint is paint, you know.

Interviewer: Yes, well. What about walnut_
Carpenter: What about it_

Interviewer: Have you worked much with walnut_
Carpenter: Sure, walnut, pine, oak, mahogony -- you name it.

Interviewer: But how many years of walnut do you have_
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know -- was I supposed to be counting the walnut_

Interviewer: Well, estimate for me.
Carpenter: OK, I'd say I have a year and a half of walnut.

Interviewer: Would you say you're an entry level walnut guy or a walnut guru_
Carpenter: A walnut guru_ What's a walnut guru_ Sure, I've used walnut.

Interviewer: But you're not a walnut guru_
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I've worked with all kinds of wood, you know, and there are some differences, but I think if you're a good carpenter ...

Interviewer: Yes, yes, but we're using Walnut, is that OK_
Carpenter: Walnut is fine! Whatever you want. I'm a carpenter.

Interviewer: What about black walnut_
Carpenter: What about it_

Interviewer: Well we've had some walnut carpenters in here, but come to find out they weren't black walnut carpenters. Do you have black walnut experience_
Carpenter: Sure, a little. It'd be good to have more for my resume, I suppose.

Interviewer: OK. Hang on let me check off the box...
Carpenter: Go right ahead.

Interviewer: OK, one more thing for today. We're using Rock 5.1 to bang nails with. Have you used Rock 5.1_
Carpenter: [Turning white...] Well, I know a lot of carpenters are starting to use rocks to bang nails with since Craftsman bought a quarry, but you know, to be honest I've had more luck with my nailgun. Or a hammer, for that matter. I find I hit my fingers too much with the rock, and my other hand hurts because the rock is so big.

Interviewer: But other companies are using rocks. Are you saying rocks don't work_
Carpenter: No, I'm not saying rocks don't work, exactly, it's just that I think nail guns work better.

Interviewer: Well, our architects have all started using rocks, and they like it.
Carpenter: Well, sure they do, but I bang nails all day, and -- well, look, I need the work, so I'm definitely willing to use rocks if you want. I try to keep an open mind.

Interviewer: OK, well we have a few other candidates we're looking at, so we'll let you know.
Carpenter: Well, thanks for your time. I enjoyed meeting you.

NEXT DAY:

Ring...

Interviewer: Hello_
Carpenter: Hello. Remember me, I'm the carpenter you interviewed for the black walnut job. Just wanted to touch base to see if you've made a decision.

Interviewer: Actually, we have. We liked your experience overall, but we decided to go with someone who has done a lot of work with brown.
Carpenter: Really, is that it_ So I lost the job because I didn't have enough brown_

Interviewer: Well, it was partly that, but partly we got the other fellow a lot cheaper.
Carpenter: Really -- how much experience does he have_

Interviewer: Well, he's not really a carpenter, he's a car salesman -- but he's sold a lot of brown cars and he's worked with walnut interiors.
Carpenter: [click]

Edited by Skylead, January 17 2013 - 05:54 PM.

[ArnieF4440]

*facepalm* lol ...its sad because I'm a developer ...

[Skylead]

I'm currently going through this, trying to get a job with a group doing rapid prototyping.

[Scapes]

Skylead, on January 17 2013 - 05:51 PM, said:

http://www.jasonbock...fa6506e2f35eaac

It's funny because it's true. Also, I hurt from laughing.

[h0B0]

i don't get it.

Then again i dropped out of computer programming and opted to travel to china instead.

I have no regrets.

[Akrium]

I get it, as I've been through these interviews... note I still don't have a job with my degree yet. Though the reason is mostly I make dumb choices for women.

I have no regrets... she could bend like no other.

[SS396]

Hah,

Worst question I ever was asked is this:

There are 3 light switches on a wall.  Only one of them controls a light bulb upstairs in a room.  The other 2 switches do nothing.  The room is closed and you cannot see the light bulb from where you are at.  You can only go upstairs and look at the light once.
Which light switch is it that controls the light upstairs_ 1, 2 or 3 and why_

[Cyclonus]

SS396, on January 18 2013 - 12:07 AM, said:

Hah,

Worst question I ever was asked is this:

There are 3 light switches on a wall.  Only one of them controls a light bulb upstairs in a room.  The other 2 switches do nothing.  The room is closed and you cannot see the light bulb from where you are at.  You can only go upstairs and look at the light once.
Which light switch is it that controls the light upstairs_ 1, 2 or 3 and why_

Turn them all on at once.

[SS396]

No, You have to explain which light switch controls the light.  By turning them all on, you haven't deduced which one does what, its still any one of those 3.  

Hint, its binary 2^3 power.  8 choices.  But only one is true and one is false.

[draco7891]

SS396, on January 18 2013 - 12:07 AM, said:

There are 3 light switches on a wall.

Turn on switch 1 for a long time. Turn off switch 1 and turn on switch 2, immediately go upstairs.

If the light is off but the door/window through which you are inspecting the light is warm, the answer is switch 1 (closed room heats up due to long exposure).

If the light is on, the answer is switch 2 (switch is on).

If the light is off, but the door/window is cold, the answer is switch 3 (neither correct switch has been activated).

Draco

[ArnieF4440]

draco7891, on January 18 2013 - 01:01 AM, said:

SS396, on January 18 2013 - 12:07 AM, said:

There are 3 light switches on a wall.

Turn on switch 1 for a long time. Turn off switch 1 and turn on switch 2, immediately go upstairs.

If the light is off but the door/window through which you are inspecting the light is warm, the answer is switch 1 (closed room heats up due to long exposure).

If the light is on, the answer is switch 2 (switch is on).

If the light is off, but the door/window is cold, the answer is switch 3 (neither correct switch has been activated).

Draco

lol, that's what I would've done. The trick to these types of questions is what they don't say you can do

Edited by ArnieF4440, January 18 2013 - 01:12 AM.

[SS396]

Geez, Draco you could of let a few more people stew on it a little bit longer and edit that and put it in a spoiler tag.

[Scapes]

draco7891, on January 18 2013 - 01:01 AM, said:

SS396, on January 18 2013 - 12:07 AM, said:

There are 3 light switches on a wall.

Turn on switch 1 for a long time. Turn off switch 1 and turn on switch 2, immediately go upstairs.

If the light is off but the door/window through which you are inspecting the light is warm, the answer is switch 1 (closed room heats up due to long exposure).

If the light is on, the answer is switch 2 (switch is on).

If the light is off, but the door/window is cold, the answer is switch 3 (neither correct switch has been activated).

Draco

[z121231211]

draco7891, on January 18 2013 - 01:01 AM, said:

Turn on switch 1 for a long time. Turn off switch 1 and turn on switch 2, immediately go upstairs.

If the light is off but the door/window through which you are inspecting the light is warm, the answer is switch 1 (closed room heats up due to long exposure).

I know 95% of energy the lightbulb uses dissipates to heat, but that noticeable_ Maybe the window if the lightbulb is close to it.

[draco7891]

z121231211, on January 18 2013 - 12:59 PM, said:

I know 95% of energy the lightbulb uses dissipates to heat, but that noticeable_ Maybe the window if the lightbulb is close to it.

SCIENCE!

The specific heat capacity of your bog-standard Mark I air is approximately 1.012 J/g*K. That means it takes approximately 1 Joule of energy to raise 1 gram of air by 1 Kelvin (the same size as a degree Celcius).

The density of air at room temperature (25 degrees Celcius) is approximately 1.1839 kg/m^3, or 1,183.9 g/m^3.

So let's say you have a standard office room-thingy (and I'll use SI units so we don't have to convert all over). That room-thingy is 5m x 5m x 4m, or 100m^3. It is also a very high-security office and can therefore be completely sealed.

In 100m^3, we have (100m^3 * 1183.9 g/m^3) = 118,390 grams of air.

Those grams of air require (118,390g * 1.012 J/g*K * 1K) = 119,810.68 J of energy to heat the air by 1 Kelvin.

A joule is defined as one Watt-second (or the power of 1 Watt working for 1 second).

A 100W incandescent lightbulb therefore produces 100 W-sec/sec or 100 J/sec for every second of operation.

Therefore, doing the division (119,810.68 J / 100 J/sec ) = 1,198.1068 seconds. Approximately 20 minutes. Adjusting for a 95% heat ratio instead makes it 21 minutes to heat the room up by 1 Kelvin.

Now here's the really cool part: humans are capable of detecting temperature changes of between 0.02 and 0.07 degrees Celcius with certain parts of their bodies (the back of the thumb, specifically). Even taking a middle value of 0.05 degrees Celcius, the time required to heat our room up by that quantity is just 59.9 seconds (or 63 seconds for a 95% ratio).

Using a CFL instead of an incandescent bulb, at the same luminosity, would require only 23W and about 87 minutes to heat the room by 1 Kelvin (about 4.3 minutes for minimally detectable 0.05 degrees Celcius).

Realistically, this discounts other major issues like the temperature of the walls and floor, and anything else that may be inside the room (furniture, etc.). Heating those up would require substantially longer, as they have much higher densities and specific heat capacities (and then you have to worry about they're attached to also acting as a heatsink and what its properties are, and so forth). It's an office in a vacuum. Hurtling through space. Atop a giant bunny. With magic walls.

Draco

http://en.wikipedia....heat_capacities
http://en.wikipedia..../Density_of_air
http://www.scholarpe...rmal_thresholds
http://en.wikipedia....minous_efficacy

Edited by draco7891, January 18 2013 - 02:42 PM.

[SS396]

@draco7891

Ok, well then.

I guess thats why someone like you got the job, and I didn't.

[draco7891]

I have 5 years of brown experience.

Draco

[SS396]

I not only have brown experience, I have yellow, green, blue, red, indigo, purple, orange, and pink.  

The last project I worked on has to do with this.
http://www.af.mil/ne...sp_id=123284840

[draco7891]

Pink, you say_





Draco

[SS396]

Nice one, but that's actually a F-15J for export to Japan