A catalog of insults (witty, funny and fighting words)
#1
Posted July 05 2012 - 06:57 AM
Well the topic arose with a conversation where industries write "fighting words" to each other causing a hysteria in the media and a cascade of tribalism throughout the internet. Fun never stops to amaze and those who are weak headed always get the last straw. This thread is not about the survival of the fittest or a place to insult other users or make other users feel bad. In here we post interesting insults "those strange creatures" that makes us laugh when they are well placed.
Well, first let us post the classics.
1. Fuck you. (never gets old)
2. You Ugly retarded. (a classic on a movie)
3. Come here you little fuck.
4. Dumb ass bitch, (that one is retarded, use it with discretion)
Scum bag, scorch, prick, gas bag are weak depending how you use them.
One word insults always gives drama to the theater.
1. Imbecile.
2. Dumb ass.
3. Dipshit.
4. Jackass.
5. Retard.
6. Moron. (that's the best one)
7. Stupid.
They are not all the same, so you need to understand the concept behind them. Using them incorrectly can make you look like a retard. (there, that's how you use it). Combinations of those are possible.
1. You are making a fool of yourself.
2. Does it matters if you are a retard_
3. Making yourself look like a clown seems to be your job.
Those are example of classical fist fights in the net.
Anyway, now is time for the real keg.
1. You have delusions of adequacy. (Walter Kerr)
2. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of anyone I know. (Abraham Lincoln)
3 .A witty saying proves nothing. (Voltaire)
4. You have all the virtues I despise and none of the vices I admire. (Winston Churchill)
5. I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said. (William F. Buckley)
There are many, many more. Please let the beast and troll in you come out and make a mess writing those witty insults without insulting anyone.
: P
Have fun....
#2
Posted July 05 2012 - 08:25 AM
The best insults are tailored to the situation though. If I get some good ones in the near future I'll try to remember so I can post them.
#3
Posted July 05 2012 - 09:37 AM
.
"The difference between theory and practice is smaller in theory than it is in practice"
#4
Posted July 05 2012 - 09:55 AM
#5
Posted July 06 2012 - 02:56 AM
lavalamp1138 said:
Win.
#6
Posted July 06 2012 - 04:46 AM
#7
Posted July 06 2012 - 04:32 PM
Nitris said:
I heard that one long time ago.
Besides nothing is worst than stepping into lego. Nothing.
#8
Posted July 09 2012 - 12:42 PM
#9
Posted July 09 2012 - 12:46 PM
Arseface said:
#10
Posted July 09 2012 - 01:40 PM
You 75% Cro-magnon by-product.
.
"The difference between theory and practice is smaller in theory than it is in practice"
#11
Posted July 09 2012 - 03:54 PM
Arseface said:
I cant stay for a while since I broke my clavicle. You don't know how that hurts.
It hurts more than seeing Hawken on consoles (PS3, 360)
#12
Posted July 11 2012 - 02:03 AM
"Hey you wanna fight_"
"Them's fighten wurds...."(all westerny)
"Dems be fittin wurds"(all dunkeny)
"DemFiginWrds"(REALLY drunkeny)
*PLOP*(Passed out while throwing punch drunkeny)
"OMG YOU STEPPED ON MY SHOE!"(she proceeded to hit me with her purse. So I robbed her)
How to start a fight:
Dress as a woman if you're a man. It'll still work.
Walk up to a couple at a diner, wink, smile, wave, make kissy lips, and say how much fun you had last night after the bars closed.
Just some fun trollin:
Get four pigs, label them 1,2, and 4. Grease them. Release into crowded area. Watch the search for 3.
Put on a referee outfit and go to the mall. Walk up to random pairs of people, and shout "RACE!". Baby strollers usually have the best effect.
Find a way to disable an escalator, and put a sign that says "CAUTION: Stairs."
Walk into a victorias secret as a man, and start trying on bras with your bros. Compliment each other.
Go to a Starbucks stand. Wait in the line that is going to be there. Halfway down the line start shouting "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH SPIDERS!"" and rip off your shirt, running away wildly, taking the line aisle ribbons with you. Put your shirt back on, and walk away normally.
Dress up in a dress as a man, or as a male thug as a woman. Get in a fight, and after they hit you, scream "WHY WOULD YOU HIT A WOMAN!"
GREAT originals:
Get pudding cups. Proceed to give them to children while mommy is looking away. Make sure they're individually wrapped. Works best outside candy stores. DONT SAY ANYTHING OR YOU WILL ALERT HER!
As a man, put on your clothes. Then proceed to put a mankini on top of your wardrobe. Now unwrap a chocolate bar, and put it in the back. Watch the faces as it melts.
As a woman, get a tube balloon and a hand squeezed pump. Put a hole in your pocket, and slide the balloon attached to the pump into your pocket. Proceed to wolf howl at other women, and pump away. Also works well with skinny jeans and a cucumber.
Get a bag of gourmet chocolate and a tray. arrange the tray in a fashion a sample tray would be. Go to a Gym, and hand the chocolates out to the larger women who are trying to get in shape. Wait awhile and offer it to her again later, again interrupting her. Keep it up. Eventually they'll figure it out.(I hope they do... this backfired once... I've never had to run so fast in my LIFE!)
Super awesome mega trolling(CAREFUL! Doing some of these CAN get you arrested.)
Dress up in Khakis, and a Polo. Walk into a store where the employees dress like that. Works great in clothing stores. Proceed to sell them things that make no sense. In macy's, a classic thing is hanging out in the purse or accessories department. When someone asks for a good accessory for something, explain where the toaster ovens are, and say that you have a few models that might suit their kitchen.(Men have better reactions to this actually)
Dress up like a cook and get a few rubber chickens. Go to a kitchen supply store, and proceed to butcher the chickens in AWFUL, brutal ways. If you have tomato ketchup, inject them full of it first.
Go to a book store, and start moving books around in droves. Putting bibles into the fiction section is an old classic, but wait and see what happens when you switch the religion and other sections around in truly outrageous ways. Things get really interesting when you take bible covers and put Karma Sutras or sex guides in them.
Call a pizza shop, and order a pizza for delivery in thirty one minutes. Complain that it arrived later than thirty minutes for a few minutes, and begrudgingly give them payment(and a good tip too.)
Here's the one that can get you picked up by the popo. Go around to a busy street with coin meters. Wait until you notice one about to expire. As the owner walks up, walk up, say "Thank god I got here in time.", and pay for the maximum amount of time. When they look at you confused, stare at them bewildered and walk away saying "Why are you looking at my like that_ I'm just paying the meter." This is illegal in 23 states, so make sure you don't get caught doing it.
#13
Posted July 19 2012 - 03:09 PM
#14
Posted July 19 2012 - 08:13 PM
Nitris said:
I had something just like this in English class this year. We had to make insults with it to use against our classmates.
#15
Posted July 19 2012 - 08:17 PM
This is getting....interesting.....
#17
Posted July 20 2012 - 01:46 PM
Are you Rihanna_ Because you've been getting beat all day.
Have you considered actually plugging in your controller_
Don't worry, there is life after 12.
Would you like me to show you where the "shoot" button is_
I like your technique, it makes me look really good.
Please don't quit, I almost have my ratio.
you
Great job! You're so special! You've unlocked: potato.
Your aim is bad and you should feel bad.
Tell you're your mom I said "hi."
#18
Posted July 21 2012 - 06:28 PM
Never gets old.
#19
Posted July 21 2012 - 07:15 PM
Usually a fight ender.
#20
Posted July 25 2012 - 12:49 PM
The_Silencer said:
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