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The great minds of #hawkenscrim have spoken (again), and you shall listen to them.
Now with 140% more clickbait!
Spoiler
The start.
[21:05:40] <Icedos7> What if you fuzzy bunny someone to death, then eat it?
[21:05:52] <Ginoshy> then you win.
[21:06:03] <hellc9943> like your mom
[21:06:31] <Icedos7> Nobody can eat your mom hellc, she's too fat
[21:06:44] <Ginoshy> I mean they can, just not all of her.
[21:06:49] <Epsilon_Whork> Need some Hawken specific mom jokes.
The jokes.
[21:06:58] <devotion> your mother is a d class etc
[21:07:20] <hellc9943> your mother is so fat origin plays siege on her
[21:07:25] <devotion> the last time your mom came over we got the map wreckage
[21:08:14] <devotion> reported your mom for leaving map boundaries before i realized she couldn't help herself
[21:08:58] <Icedos7> your mom's so fat she one hit kills from crash damage
[21:09:06] <General-JWJ> Yo mama so fat she blocks incoming AA shots with her ass
[21:09:10] <devotion> brawlers push f to enter your mom mode
[21:09:47] <Ginoshy> Not even a zerk can fly over your mom.
[21:10:04] <devotion> your mom gives a new meaning to the phrase uncarryable team
[21:10:41] <Ginoshy> Your mom would collapse the Prosk bridge if she could fit on it.
[21:11:16] <devotion> your mom's mech model throttled my cpu on plastic hawken
[21:11:35] <Ginoshy> We thought we were fighting near a virus gigastructure, but it was just your mom.
[21:12:03] <devotion> ask your mom how to select the siege battleship for me
[21:12:07] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat not even all cavorite combined can lift her
[21:12:32] <Ginoshy> Your mom has an EU capacity well into the thousands.
[21:12:32] <Epsilon_Whork> Hover and boost are only cosmetic effects when used by your mom.
[21:13:23] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom's so fat the battleship had to target her first in siege.
[21:13:27] <Ginoshy> Your mom doesn't have a repair drone anymore: she ate it.
[21:13:37] <devotion> your mom can't use emps due to gravitational pull
[21:14:36] <Ginoshy> Shields still stick to your mom, tricked into thinking they've hit terrain.
[21:14:45] <devotion> same with holotaunts
[21:14:47] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom dramatically increased the weapon accuracy of all players in Hawken.
[21:15:02] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat she can deathball all by herself
[21:15:23] <General-JWJ> When your mom does a 180 spin her outlying regions keep on going well into the 720's
[21:15:35] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom can't det TOWs without taking self damage.
[21:15:43] <Ginoshy> The silo jumps on origin can't even get your mom up to the mid bridge.
[21:15:54] <PoopSlinger> They don't make a fov large enough to fit your mom in frame
[21:16:04] <devotion> your mom quit because she thought the launch pads were broken
[21:16:08] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat her hitbox is a sphere
[21:16:35] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom's so fat, her hitbox is larger than the skybox.
[21:16:52] <Ginoshy> Your mom is so fat, preds can't see through her.
[21:16:55] <PoopSlinger> Your moms favorite game is 24man Dm cuz she loves taking it from all sides
[21:16:56] <devotion> your mom eats so much i thought she had an extractor on
[21:17:57] <Ginoshy> Your mom can't physically use deflectors.
[21:18:24] <General-JWJ> Scanners don't work with your mom cause she takes up all the range
[21:18:30] <PoopSlinger> Your mom thinks scout is OP
[21:18:31] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom is so fat she simultaneously siphons all orbs on the map.
[21:18:46] <devotion> when your mom uses incin slam, she instakills the enemy team
[21:19:01] <Icedos7> by earthquake
[21:19:15] <Ginoshy> your mom siphons calories like the incin siphons heat.
[21:19:27] <General-JWJ> Your mom's so fat she eats battleturkeys as snacks
[21:19:50] <Ginoshy> your moms crosshair is a twinkie.
[21:20:08] <devotion> your mom has to buy a paint four times before she can use it
[21:20:09] <incitatus> your mom is easier than a raider killing a scout
[21:20:10] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom is so fat she killed the Yeti with fall damage.
[21:20:32] <Epsilon_Whork> Instantly.
[21:20:48] <Ginoshy> your mom playes rocketeer non-ironically.
[21:21:09] <devotion> your mom keeps cups of noodles in her cockpit for practical reasons
[21:22:28] <devotion> your mom can capture all three ma points at once
[21:22:37] <General-JWJ> Your mom's so ugly her reflection cracks the windshields on nearby mechs
[21:22:44] <Ginoshy> It is a good thing mechs don't have ejector seats. Your mom would need a rocketship engine to get out of the cockpit.
[21:23:07] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom costs 1 hc to unlock and is free to rent.
[21:23:30] <devotion> alternative: your mom is always on free week
[21:24:22] <Ginoshy> Your mom is easier than an orblord SMC assault.
[21:24:35] <Ginoshy> easier than a berzerker.
[21:24:46] <PoopSlinger> They made your mom her own repair drone, it looks a lot like a penis.
[21:26:04] <devotion> it takes your mom six hours to repair
[21:26:22] <Ginoshy> Your mom is a standard unit for the drop weight of entire mech battalions.
[21:26:44] <devotion> one kilomech, alternatively a ym
[21:28:19] <PoopSlinger> Your moms got a custom mech paint they named bukkake
[21:28:38] <General-JWJ> Your mom's so flabby grenades bounce right off of her
[21:28:53] <Ginoshy> your mom consts 9000 EU to launch up the stairs.
[21:29:21] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom has space for unlimited internals.
[21:29:37] <incitatus> your mom is so fat, the aa shoots at her instead
[21:30:49] <Ginoshy> Brawlers make your mom look slow. In turret mode.
[21:31:43] <incitatus> everyone thought hyginos was fat, until they saw your mom.
[21:32:56] <devotion> your mom's repair drone is a brawler
[21:33:32] <General-JWJ> coop bot destruction maps are too small to accomodate your mom
[21:34:20] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat she has more HP than boss Brawler
[21:34:21] <Ginoshy> Your mom has never seen the inside of the origin tunnels, being as she is to fat to fit inside.
[21:34:47] <Icedos7> However, the entire Origin map could fit in your mom's tunnels
[21:35:00] <Ginoshy> EMPs will never hit your mom. They simply enter a low orbit.
[21:35:08] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom is too large to ever be fully colonized by the Hawken Virus, and has taken the name of the Giga-Structure on Illal.
[21:35:20] <incitatus> 6v6 party mode was designed to accomodate your mom and another team
[21:36:10] <General-JWJ> When your mom started playing hawken they retired hellfires cause no one needs autolock to hit that
[21:36:59] <incitatus> your mom is so fat, you can't break her turn cap
[21:37:29] <Ginoshy> you can only EMP part of your mom at a time.
[21:38:22] <Icedos7> Seekers fired at your mom will be accelerated to hitscan levels
[21:39:18] <General-JWJ> There isn't a fall big enough in hawken to cause fall damage to your mom
[21:39:19] <PoopSlinger> Spectator mode doesn't work with your mom in a server.
[21:39:24] <Epsilon_Whork> Weapons spread is inconsequential versus your mom.
[21:40:05] <incitatus> your mom is so dumb, she didn't know you can walk over turrets to destroy them
[21:40:05] <Ginoshy> Your moms most effective missile assault strategy is to sit near the base, functionally blocking all incoming rockets.
[21:40:23] <incitatus> your mom is so fat, she caps all three points at once
[21:40:38] <Ginoshy> your mom counts as 6 on the AA.
[21:41:27] <incitatus> your mom can fill a mayhem server by herself
[21:41:37] <Ginoshy> Illalian merc pilots know your mom as "The Caves".
[21:41:43] <PoopSlinger> Your mom loves playing against omni because years of abuse have trained her to love a good beating.
[21:41:43] <General-JWJ> Your mom's fat ass gives a whole new meaning to "farthammer"
[21:42:38] <PoopSlinger> Your mom is drunker than Tickle.
[21:43:10] <Ginoshy> ADH didn't go bankrupt. Your mom ate it.
[21:47:52] <Ginoshy> Crafty's smurfs together weigh almost as much as your mom.
[21:48:44] <incitatus> your mom's so fat, she uses c-class shields for birth control
[21:49:38] <Ginoshy> your mom's dildo is an EU tree.
The end.
[21:52:23] <hellc9943> you guys are still going i see. nice
[21:54:11] <Icedos7> We are still going because your mom can't be satisfied
[21:54:27] <hellc9943> never had problems with that, must be only you
The start.
[21:05:40] <Icedos7> What if you fuzzy bunny someone to death, then eat it?
[21:05:52] <Ginoshy> then you win.
[21:06:03] <hellc9943> like your mom
[21:06:31] <Icedos7> Nobody can eat your mom hellc, she's too fat
[21:06:44] <Ginoshy> I mean they can, just not all of her.
[21:06:49] <Epsilon_Whork> Need some Hawken specific mom jokes.
The jokes.
[21:06:58] <devotion> your mother is a d class etc
[21:07:20] <hellc9943> your mother is so fat origin plays siege on her
[21:07:25] <devotion> the last time your mom came over we got the map wreckage
[21:08:14] <devotion> reported your mom for leaving map boundaries before i realized she couldn't help herself
[21:08:58] <Icedos7> your mom's so fat she one hit kills from crash damage
[21:09:06] <General-JWJ> Yo mama so fat she blocks incoming AA shots with her ass
[21:09:10] <devotion> brawlers push f to enter your mom mode
[21:09:47] <Ginoshy> Not even a zerk can fly over your mom.
[21:10:04] <devotion> your mom gives a new meaning to the phrase uncarryable team
[21:10:41] <Ginoshy> Your mom would collapse the Prosk bridge if she could fit on it.
[21:11:16] <devotion> your mom's mech model throttled my cpu on plastic hawken
[21:11:35] <Ginoshy> We thought we were fighting near a virus gigastructure, but it was just your mom.
[21:12:03] <devotion> ask your mom how to select the siege battleship for me
[21:12:07] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat not even all cavorite combined can lift her
[21:12:32] <Ginoshy> Your mom has an EU capacity well into the thousands.
[21:12:32] <Epsilon_Whork> Hover and boost are only cosmetic effects when used by your mom.
[21:13:23] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom's so fat the battleship had to target her first in siege.
[21:13:27] <Ginoshy> Your mom doesn't have a repair drone anymore: she ate it.
[21:13:37] <devotion> your mom can't use emps due to gravitational pull
[21:14:36] <Ginoshy> Shields still stick to your mom, tricked into thinking they've hit terrain.
[21:14:45] <devotion> same with holotaunts
[21:14:47] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom dramatically increased the weapon accuracy of all players in Hawken.
[21:15:02] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat she can deathball all by herself
[21:15:23] <General-JWJ> When your mom does a 180 spin her outlying regions keep on going well into the 720's
[21:15:35] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom can't det TOWs without taking self damage.
[21:15:43] <Ginoshy> The silo jumps on origin can't even get your mom up to the mid bridge.
[21:15:54] <PoopSlinger> They don't make a fov large enough to fit your mom in frame
[21:16:04] <devotion> your mom quit because she thought the launch pads were broken
[21:16:08] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat her hitbox is a sphere
[21:16:35] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom's so fat, her hitbox is larger than the skybox.
[21:16:52] <Ginoshy> Your mom is so fat, preds can't see through her.
[21:16:55] <PoopSlinger> Your moms favorite game is 24man Dm cuz she loves taking it from all sides
[21:16:56] <devotion> your mom eats so much i thought she had an extractor on
[21:17:57] <Ginoshy> Your mom can't physically use deflectors.
[21:18:24] <General-JWJ> Scanners don't work with your mom cause she takes up all the range
[21:18:30] <PoopSlinger> Your mom thinks scout is OP
[21:18:31] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom is so fat she simultaneously siphons all orbs on the map.
[21:18:46] <devotion> when your mom uses incin slam, she instakills the enemy team
[21:19:01] <Icedos7> by earthquake
[21:19:15] <Ginoshy> your mom siphons calories like the incin siphons heat.
[21:19:27] <General-JWJ> Your mom's so fat she eats battleturkeys as snacks
[21:19:50] <Ginoshy> your moms crosshair is a twinkie.
[21:20:08] <devotion> your mom has to buy a paint four times before she can use it
[21:20:09] <incitatus> your mom is easier than a raider killing a scout
[21:20:10] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom is so fat she killed the Yeti with fall damage.
[21:20:32] <Epsilon_Whork> Instantly.
[21:20:48] <Ginoshy> your mom playes rocketeer non-ironically.
[21:21:09] <devotion> your mom keeps cups of noodles in her cockpit for practical reasons
[21:22:28] <devotion> your mom can capture all three ma points at once
[21:22:37] <General-JWJ> Your mom's so ugly her reflection cracks the windshields on nearby mechs
[21:22:44] <Ginoshy> It is a good thing mechs don't have ejector seats. Your mom would need a rocketship engine to get out of the cockpit.
[21:23:07] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom costs 1 hc to unlock and is free to rent.
[21:23:30] <devotion> alternative: your mom is always on free week
[21:24:22] <Ginoshy> Your mom is easier than an orblord SMC assault.
[21:24:35] <Ginoshy> easier than a berzerker.
[21:24:46] <PoopSlinger> They made your mom her own repair drone, it looks a lot like a penis.
[21:26:04] <devotion> it takes your mom six hours to repair
[21:26:22] <Ginoshy> Your mom is a standard unit for the drop weight of entire mech battalions.
[21:26:44] <devotion> one kilomech, alternatively a ym
[21:28:19] <PoopSlinger> Your moms got a custom mech paint they named bukkake
[21:28:38] <General-JWJ> Your mom's so flabby grenades bounce right off of her
[21:28:53] <Ginoshy> your mom consts 9000 EU to launch up the stairs.
[21:29:21] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom has space for unlimited internals.
[21:29:37] <incitatus> your mom is so fat, the aa shoots at her instead
[21:30:49] <Ginoshy> Brawlers make your mom look slow. In turret mode.
[21:31:43] <incitatus> everyone thought hyginos was fat, until they saw your mom.
[21:32:56] <devotion> your mom's repair drone is a brawler
[21:33:32] <General-JWJ> coop bot destruction maps are too small to accomodate your mom
[21:34:20] <Icedos7> Your mom is so fat she has more HP than boss Brawler
[21:34:21] <Ginoshy> Your mom has never seen the inside of the origin tunnels, being as she is to fat to fit inside.
[21:34:47] <Icedos7> However, the entire Origin map could fit in your mom's tunnels
[21:35:00] <Ginoshy> EMPs will never hit your mom. They simply enter a low orbit.
[21:35:08] <Epsilon_Whork> Your mom is too large to ever be fully colonized by the Hawken Virus, and has taken the name of the Giga-Structure on Illal.
[21:35:20] <incitatus> 6v6 party mode was designed to accomodate your mom and another team
[21:36:10] <General-JWJ> When your mom started playing hawken they retired hellfires cause no one needs autolock to hit that
[21:36:59] <incitatus> your mom is so fat, you can't break her turn cap
[21:37:29] <Ginoshy> you can only EMP part of your mom at a time.
[21:38:22] <Icedos7> Seekers fired at your mom will be accelerated to hitscan levels
[21:39:18] <General-JWJ> There isn't a fall big enough in hawken to cause fall damage to your mom
[21:39:19] <PoopSlinger> Spectator mode doesn't work with your mom in a server.
[21:39:24] <Epsilon_Whork> Weapons spread is inconsequential versus your mom.
[21:40:05] <incitatus> your mom is so dumb, she didn't know you can walk over turrets to destroy them
[21:40:05] <Ginoshy> Your moms most effective missile assault strategy is to sit near the base, functionally blocking all incoming rockets.
[21:40:23] <incitatus> your mom is so fat, she caps all three points at once
[21:40:38] <Ginoshy> your mom counts as 6 on the AA.
[21:41:27] <incitatus> your mom can fill a mayhem server by herself
[21:41:37] <Ginoshy> Illalian merc pilots know your mom as "The Caves".
[21:41:43] <PoopSlinger> Your mom loves playing against omni because years of abuse have trained her to love a good beating.
[21:41:43] <General-JWJ> Your mom's fat ass gives a whole new meaning to "farthammer"
[21:42:38] <PoopSlinger> Your mom is drunker than Tickle.
[21:43:10] <Ginoshy> ADH didn't go bankrupt. Your mom ate it.
[21:47:52] <Ginoshy> Crafty's smurfs together weigh almost as much as your mom.
[21:48:44] <incitatus> your mom's so fat, she uses c-class shields for birth control
[21:49:38] <Ginoshy> your mom's dildo is an EU tree.
The end.
[21:52:23] <hellc9943> you guys are still going i see. nice
[21:54:11] <Icedos7> We are still going because your mom can't be satisfied
[21:54:27] <hellc9943> never had problems with that, must be only you
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